Musings: Relationships in Film

One of the reasons I want to make films is because films have always been one of my passions. I've always been inspired by something in a movie, even if it's a bad one. That's why you will see me quote things often from movies. One of my favorite things to do is to catch a matinee alone. Sometimes it will address some issue that's been on my mind. And sometimes if I feel lost about something, I'll get some insight from something I've seen or heard in a movie. Sometimes I'm just in the mood for popcorn.

I rented Serendipity this weekend. I found it a lot like The Notebook when I rented that right after a break up. I found it very unbelievable. I like chick flicks as much as the next chick, but all these movies only focus on the wooing stage of the relationship. The romance, the excitement of getting to know somebody, that "everything you do is cute" phase. There aren't many movies that portray the relationships realistically and show what happens after the "wooing" phase. Then after six months or whatever when you are more comfortable with each other and are just yourselves, you don't do all those cutesy romantic things you did at the beginning and think something's wrong because you aren't skipping through the park holding hands, grinning like idiots at each other like you remember (or at least you hope it's not captured on film somewhere). When you never really did anything cheesy like that to begin with, you just saw it at the movies when you were nervous and excited in the beginning. Then, a year later you are in bed and he's trying to sleep and you are asking him stupid questions like, "are we soul mates?" and he's half asleep going, "wha? I have to get to work tomorrow morning". And he starts getting annoyed that you leave the cap off the toothpaste and you hate it when he leaves his clothes all over the bathroom. And you can hear him fart from the other room while you are talking to him about what to have for dinner. You don't see *those* scenes in the movies.

The whole fate thing was a little unbelievable as well. I agree that there are definitely some people who are meant to be in your life. But I felt they took it a little far. There was wayyy too many coincidences. I did like the line "Fate only gets you so far, everything else is up to you." Or something like that.

I was wondering about the roles different people play in your life. Usually you learn different things from different relationships with different people. My marriage was not a very good one. The next serious girlfriend my ex husband had, I was impressed because it seemed like a healthier relationship than our marriage. Getting to know the girlfriend better and becoming friends with her and her confiding in me things that were happening in the relationship made me see that it really wasn't that different. He was still abusive to her. Well, he moved on to another girlfriend, and it's been over a year that they've been together. It really does seem like a healthier relationship than he had with me or his last girlfriend. He buys her flowers, writes her love letters even with them living in the same house and has even stopped drinking, for the time being. But it's been a 3-4 months and that's quite awhile for him. So I'm wondering what it is that's changed. What is different with both of them that it's working out? I think I'm too nice and just put up with too much crap. Looking back on my last two relationships, with this last bf and my ex-husband, I sometimes feel like I was too weak. I put up with too much crap that I shouldn't have and stayed longer than I should have. I'm in a stage right now where I'm sort of emotionally beating myself up over things I feel I should've done differently. I know it won't change anything, but it's something I'm working through.

Til next time......