Musings: Love to Just Friends?

They say that Love is friendship on fire. I heard that in a matinee last week. What happens when love shifts to something else?

I talk a lot about my marriage lately because I don't want to focus on my recent breakup. It's still too close to home.

I'm actually really glad that my ex husband and I are now friends. It took a year after we split before we were able to talk without it turning into an argument. He's the only person I've ever been in a relationship with that I still talk to. If we didn't share children together I would have done what I normally do when I break up with someone. Move to another place and never talk to them again. We can even talk about our relationships with other people to each other. I really like his girlfriend. He has a habit of picking the caretakers (myself being one of them), so I know whoever his girlfriend is (he's had 3 so far), she's going to be really good with the kids. I said to him one time, "You're lucky you have a girlfriend who mows your lawn." He said, "I'd probably hold out til I found one that did." Ya, I know....it was a jerk thing to say. He can also charm people into doing whatever he wants. People ask me now what I ever saw in him. I honestly can't remember. The charm wore off on me a long time ago. But, I still care very deeply about him and always will. He's the only other person on this planet who looks at my two kids the same way I do.

So getting back to the original statement about Love being friendship on fire......what happens when the fire goes out? What is love then? I think friendship requires trust. I never could trust either my ex husband or my last boyfriend. So was it really love?

I think too many people confuse love with co-dependancy.