Musings: Til Death Do Us Part?

I went to another matinee this afternoon (The Wedding Crashers) and heard a great definition of true love. "True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpart in another." I really like that.

I know I've wondered this before, but is there really such a thing as soul mates in this day and age? Wanda Sykes, the comedian, made a good point when she said the "til death do you part" part of the wedding vows was made for biblical times back before antibiotics when people didn't live that long. I'm not saying it's not entirely possible. I'm actually hoping it is. The people who have been married for 25 years or more are from a different time. When everybody was from a small town where everybody knew each other and their families. Small towns are being replaced with big cities and everybody keeps getting busier and has less time and a lot more stress. I doubt there was any road rage back in the days of the wagon train. I think as a society we are becoming meaner. We have a lot more divorces now than they did back then.

The person who I consider my father is actually legally, my adopted stepfather. My mother and my father went to school together from Grade 1 all the way to Grade 12 in small town Saskatchewan. My grandmother (mother's mother) says she remembers on my mother and father's first day of Grade 1, my grandfather (father's father) said to her, "you know, one day those two are gonna get married". My grandmother says she thought he was nuts. She actually married somebody else (my adopted father) but divorced him when I was 6 and my sister was 3. Shortly after that, my stepfather came into my life and has been my father ever since. They've been together for 25 years now.

There very well could be such a thing as "soul mates", but if there is.....I haven't found mine yet. I already decided that my son will decide who will become part of our family. There is a guy who works at the daycare, and I've noticed that he only greets and acts nice to the kids who have moms that are young and hot. As soon as the mother is gone, he goes back to barely acknowleging their existence. Therefore, I think watching to see how your bf/gf acts with your children is not a good indicator of how they will be with your children. How are they when you aren't around? I will know because my son will feel a connection. I still remember being 7 and meeting my father for the first time. He's the only one who I felt when he was talking to me, actually had a genuine interest in what I had to say. This also wasn't a phoney baloney "your mom's watching so I'm gonna be nice" kind of thing. I felt a connection. He will, too. Kids are pretty smart that way.


I highly recommend the movie Riding Giants, the Stacy Peralta documentary on the history of big wave surfing. There's a story in there that pro-surfer Laird Hamilton tells of his childhood. He was a young boy on the beach in Hawaii and began talking to a man and asked the man to body surf with him. The man did and they both said they felt an instant connection. A physical, mental, emotional connection. Billy Hamilton, the man, said he fell instantly in love with young Laird. Laird grabbed his hand and said, "I want you to come home with me to meet my mom". Billy did and said he fell in love with his mother "the beautiful brown haired, brown-eyed gal". Soon after that, they became a family. I wouldn't recommend young children talking to strangers on the beach nowadays. But I think that is a good illustration of what I meant by the child will feel the connection and just know that this person was meant to be in their life. Children are just smarter than us, sometimes.

Keep loving life.....