Musings: How Do Males Handle Breakups?
So I'm talking with a friend tonight, and he tells me my blog is turning into a "blog for chicks". Which is probably right. But I'm working out some personal stuff right now and I guess guys aren't great at that kind of thing. Or maybe they just don't talk to anybody about it. Which would be a real shame. If you don't express your anger/sadness/whatever other negative feeling, you internalize it and do a lot more damage to your body and your mental health than if you were to just bitch to your friends about it.
Which leads me to ask.....what does a guy do when he breaks up? I won't say all girls do this, because I'm only writing from my own experiences, but when I go through a break up, I look at the relationship to see what happened. What can I learn? What part did I play? You can think through those things clearer when you have some distance. Plus, women just like to talk. Or watch sad movies, or go get a new haircut, or some cute outfit, or anything else that might make us feel better. I have no idea how a man copes with it. But I do know that sometimes it seems like the guy moves on quicker than the girl. I used to have a male best friend before I got married. I remember one time when he broke up with someone he called me to talk about it. I picked up some ice cream and a couple new releases and went over there. We hung out all night and talked. He was not like a lot of guys I knew. He talked about what he was feeling. I feel bad for the men who can't do that. So guys who are reading this, next time you are talking to one of your male friends and he seems like he's having a bad day, put a hand on his shoulder and say, "Share how that makes you feel." lol, I'd really like to see that one day.
Now that I'm thinking of my old friend who I lost touch with because of my husband (yes, they didn't really like each other), I'm reminded of how much I miss him and the times we spent together. I have no idea where he is right now or what he's doing. I wrote a poem for him 10-11 years ago. It went something like this:
Lucky
to have a friend like you
Without you,
I don't know what I'd do
You help me,
when I'm down and blue
Without you
I feel like a piece of poo.
I really miss this guy. If this is you, get in touch with me.
Keep dreaming big.......
Which leads me to ask.....what does a guy do when he breaks up? I won't say all girls do this, because I'm only writing from my own experiences, but when I go through a break up, I look at the relationship to see what happened. What can I learn? What part did I play? You can think through those things clearer when you have some distance. Plus, women just like to talk. Or watch sad movies, or go get a new haircut, or some cute outfit, or anything else that might make us feel better. I have no idea how a man copes with it. But I do know that sometimes it seems like the guy moves on quicker than the girl. I used to have a male best friend before I got married. I remember one time when he broke up with someone he called me to talk about it. I picked up some ice cream and a couple new releases and went over there. We hung out all night and talked. He was not like a lot of guys I knew. He talked about what he was feeling. I feel bad for the men who can't do that. So guys who are reading this, next time you are talking to one of your male friends and he seems like he's having a bad day, put a hand on his shoulder and say, "Share how that makes you feel." lol, I'd really like to see that one day.
Now that I'm thinking of my old friend who I lost touch with because of my husband (yes, they didn't really like each other), I'm reminded of how much I miss him and the times we spent together. I have no idea where he is right now or what he's doing. I wrote a poem for him 10-11 years ago. It went something like this:
Lucky
to have a friend like you
Without you,
I don't know what I'd do
You help me,
when I'm down and blue
Without you
I feel like a piece of poo.
I really miss this guy. If this is you, get in touch with me.
Keep dreaming big.......
posted by trudyrox at 11:13 PM
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