Musings: First Post....
Woo! Here i go.
Well, this is my first post and thought I'd just ramble a little about what's on my brain.
Did you ever have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just knew something was up but didn't know what? Did you ever investigate further on those feelings and find out things you didn't want to know, but needed to know anyway? I know I have.
When I was 19, I was dating a guy for a few months. Nothing serious, but I really liked him. One afternoon, I was watching t.v., not even thinking about him and a little voice in my head blurted out, "he's living with someone." Since I wasn't even thinking about him, I stopped for a minute and thought, "who's living with someone? Ohhhhh, he's living with someone, that makes sense!" Starting to backtrack the past few months at all the signs I ignored and after a few investigative phone calls found out he was indeed living with someone....someone he was engaged to.
Well, I've had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was happening in a relationship of mine since February. I just didn't know what. We broke up late March, early April, because I couldn't shake that feeling. We ended up getting back together, despite my head telling me it was a bad idea. The past few months were great and just like it had been when things were good. The pit of my stomach still said something's not right. After doing some investigating using tactics I'm not all that proud of, I found out my instinct was right. I'm not angry like I was back when we broke up in March. I feel more relieved that I'm not crazy and there was something going on.
I think it was closure that I needed. I couldn't close the door for some reason until I had concrete evidence about my hunches. It's hard when you've had an unhealthy, addictive relationship for over three years. For some reason, I kept letting myself get sucked back in. I'm more angry at myself than I am at him. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm pissed at him, too. But I stayed and allowed it to happen.
Well, this is my first post and thought I'd just ramble a little about what's on my brain.
Did you ever have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just knew something was up but didn't know what? Did you ever investigate further on those feelings and find out things you didn't want to know, but needed to know anyway? I know I have.
When I was 19, I was dating a guy for a few months. Nothing serious, but I really liked him. One afternoon, I was watching t.v., not even thinking about him and a little voice in my head blurted out, "he's living with someone." Since I wasn't even thinking about him, I stopped for a minute and thought, "who's living with someone? Ohhhhh, he's living with someone, that makes sense!" Starting to backtrack the past few months at all the signs I ignored and after a few investigative phone calls found out he was indeed living with someone....someone he was engaged to.
Well, I've had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was happening in a relationship of mine since February. I just didn't know what. We broke up late March, early April, because I couldn't shake that feeling. We ended up getting back together, despite my head telling me it was a bad idea. The past few months were great and just like it had been when things were good. The pit of my stomach still said something's not right. After doing some investigating using tactics I'm not all that proud of, I found out my instinct was right. I'm not angry like I was back when we broke up in March. I feel more relieved that I'm not crazy and there was something going on.
I think it was closure that I needed. I couldn't close the door for some reason until I had concrete evidence about my hunches. It's hard when you've had an unhealthy, addictive relationship for over three years. For some reason, I kept letting myself get sucked back in. I'm more angry at myself than I am at him. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm pissed at him, too. But I stayed and allowed it to happen.
posted by trudyrox at 10:19 PM
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