Musings: March of the Penguins

So my big dilemma today was, Dukes of Hazzard or March of the Penguins? The girl at the ticket counter wasn't much help, so I decided to go with the Penguins. Plus, according to Ebert, the car was the best actor in the Dukes of Hazzard.

I couldn't get totally lost in the movie, but I haven't really seen one yet this summer that could totally captivate me and make me forget where I am. I found myself thinking too much about the process. How did they get the time lapse shots underneath the water? How did the crew handle shooting in Antarctica or the South Pole or wherever it was? Were they shooting hi def? But I did find it enjoyable and educational. I like how the one character puts it in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, "...a documentary, so, like a movie only boring". I'm a fan of nonfiction film.

The thing I found interesting about the Penguins was the gender roles. After the male and the female penguin court and decide to mate together, they take turns playing parent. After the female produces the egg, the male takes care of it while the female goes back to the sea to eat because she's lost 1/3 of her body weight producing the egg. The male watches the egg until it hatches, looks after the penguin chick and goes without food for around 4 months until the female returns. The female then watches the chick while the male goes back to the sea to eat. They keep taking turns like that. It's so interesting that there's no question of what roles they play during the parenting, they each take turns, they know what they have to do and when the chick gets big enough to take care of itself, the family disbands. The penguin mom and dad are faithful to each other during the whole mating season. The next season, all bets are off and everybody partners up again.

What is wrong with us humans that we can't do the same thing? I mean in terms of partnering up for mating and the watching the baby? So many families these days are single parent families. I don't mind being a single parent, but what was wrong with my ex that he couldn't take responsibility? We had our son after we got married, and since we got married when I was pregnant, it wasn't that long after. We bought a house. And somewhere just after the marriage, the baby being born and the house, my ex thought, "I know, it's the perfect time to try crack". God, I wish I were kidding. Thankfully that was in their first few years so they won't ever remember the time Papa was a crackhead who was never home. I know there are many, many men who are wonderful fathers and who take responsibility as a parent and do their share of the housework, but that sure wasn't my experience. He's gotten better over the last few years. I know he loves those kids more than anything. He's just too selfish and immature to be as responsible as I'd like. I remember his last girlfriend said to me once, "I'm so jealous of you that you got the experience." I said, "What experience?" She said, "You know, the whole wedding and having the baby experience." I said, "Oh yes and what a wonderful experience it was". Suffering Post Partum Depression, being alone in a city where I didn't know anybody, wondering where my husband was and when he was coming home. I also had terrible insomnia and spent a lot of time crying. Oh ya, good times, good times.

Well, things are a lot better now. I still have periods where I feel depressed, still have periods where I cry and still have periods where I mentally beat the hell out of my ex, but I have my power back. I know that it's not just men, I know a very responsible man who is raising his three daughters alone after his wife ran off with her online lover and she doesn't have much contact with her daughters. I just wonder sometimes why it's so hard for some parents to be responsible these days for the good of their children. Many do, I know, but there are more and more families struggling nowadays than there used to be. Why can't we be more like the penguins? Minus the whole Antarctic thing.

More ramblings to come.....