Employee of the Month

Woo, it's been a long fricken' time since my last post. Sorry, folks. This semester really kicked my ass. Anyhoo...

I finally had a free afternoon to go see a flick at the cheap theaters and I chose Employee of the Month. I like comedies and was in the mood for something light and...I heard this was a comedy. It stars Dane Cook, who was funny in Waiting, Dax Shepard, who had humorous moments in Zathura, Andy Dick, who was funny in Old School, Efren Ramirez, who was funny in Napoleon Dynamite, Harland Williams, who was hilarious in Half Baked and ....uh, Jessica Simpson. Almost all of these people have been funny in other movies, not so much in this one. This was not funny at all.

Zack (Cook) is the central character as the lovable loser who skates through life as a box boy with his friends Russell (Williams), Lon (Dick) and Iqbal (Brian George). All are employees at Super Club (very much like Costco) and have to share a workplace with Vince (Shepard) who is scarily obsessed with being Employee of the Month, and his sidekick Jorge (Ramirez). The inciting incident happens with the arrival of the new store hottie, Amy (Simpson). The rivalry for Amy and Employee of the Month begins when the guys all learn Amy has a "thing" for the Employee of the Month.


The movie just didn't suck me in at all. I was completely aware the whole time I was watching a movie that was supposed to be funny. The performances weren't bad (with one exception), but it just didn't click at all. There were unintentionally funny parts, like when Amy arrives at the store the first day and that stupid "slow mo, fan on high speed, blowing the hotties hair around while the males all watch her, mouth agape" entrance that seems to be the norm in stupid movies like this. Yes, we get it, she's got a nice rack. Jessica's cleavage performed its part well and I think it got more screen time than her face. Her acting however, is another thing. She emotes about as well as a kumquat. Cook's character seemed like it was supposed to be very "Van Wilder". The smooth, under achiever who everyone loves. It didn't suit him and their love story wasn't believable. The old "the lovable underachiever just needs a good woman to believe in him so he can succeed" trip. Excuse me for a sec...*barf*. Okay.

The writing and directing overall wasted some good talent who could have and should have delivered a great comedy.

Employee of the Month
4/10
Recommended: NOT, unless you want to stare at Jessica's cleavage. However, one of her old issues of FHM or Maxim might be less painful.
Funniest line (I should say THE funny line): Russell: Check it out guy, he's the alpha male of the store... chicks always go after the alpha male, they're like lions... kings of the desert. And you, you're just a little tiny fieldmouse dangling in the teeth of the lion while he's banging your chick. Oh wait a minute... boxboy, you're like the little hairy nutsack on the little hairy fieldmouse swinging back and forth while he's banging your chick.

More ramblings to come....